Usapang Utang

Kapag may isinuksok, may ibang mandurukot?

Masinop talaga ako. (Self-acclaimed talaga, hayaan nyo na.) Ebidensya: napupuno ko ang alkansya ko bago pa man mag overdrive ang thrill na buksan (O sungkitin) ang laman. Sige na, maniwala ka na.

Ayun, dahil nga naman may naitatabi talaga akong pera kahit papaano, hindi na rin ako nahuhuli sa mga babayaran. Kahit may surprise na contribution sa skwela o kahit biglang may lakad o may kailangang bilhin para sa project, ayos lang.

Pero isa sa ayoko talaga eh yung may nanghihiram ng pera. Hindi dahil sa ayoko, kundi dahil hindi ako maka-hindi. 

Text ng kaibigan:

RD, may pera ka ba? Wala na kasing gatas yung baby ko. Hindi pa nagpapadala ng pera sina mama.

Gusto kong sabihin na “Pasensya na, wala akong pera.” Pero meron naman talaga kaya ang hirap. Napakasama ko naman kapag sinabi ko: Ayan kasi, nagpabuntis ng maaga. Eh ako nga walang lovelife. Magdusa ka ngayon. Pero hindi ako kontrabida. Kaya ayun, bumigay din. Nagreply na lang:

Magkano ba? Paano ko ipapadala? May anak ka na pala hindi ka man lang nagsabi. hahaha successful pala ang transplant ng matres mong babae ka. hahaha

Ayun, pabiro nalang ng konti para mawala rin ang pagiging awkward ng situation nya. Alam kong parang wala na talaga siguro siyang ibang naisip na mapag-uutangan. May pinagsamahan naman kami kahit papaano. At may trabaho na din naman ako.

300. Pwede ba ipadala mo nlng thru pawnshop? Salamat ha. 🙂

Edi ayun, kahit na maulan at may additional na babayaran pa para sa pag send ng pera, eh sinuong ko nlng. Napasubo na eh.

Ang ending, ginawa ko ng 500. Humirit pa kasi baka magkulang pa daw kasi wala na rin syang allowance sa school.  (OO, nag-aaral pa sya.)

Heto ngayon, ang paniningil time.

Isa sa taboo na nahihirapan talaga akong pag-usapan eh kapag utang na ang topic.

ANG HIRAP MANINGIL!

Parang nakakahiya. Ewan, nahihirapan talaga akong singilin ang tao. Baka mapilitang magsinungaling ng : sa katapusan na lang ng buwan. 

Heto, ang ending, ginagawa ko nlng early pamasko. Eh ang layo pa ng pasko.

Kadalasan naman, sila na tuloy ang hindi na masyadong nagpaparamdam. Yung parang iniiwasan na ako dahil may utang sila. Kaya, ako na ang nagbi break ng ice. Nangangamusta kung saan napunta ang pera at kumusta na sila.

In the end, nakukuntento nlng akong maisip na may napupuntahang mas maganda ang ipon ko. Kesa hanggang SAVE TO SPEND lang ako. Maski pa sabihin kong PERA KO ITO at karapatan kong gastusin ito, konsensya na rin ang hindi ibahagi ang meron ka sa lubos na nangangailangan.

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WARNING: Hindi po ako nagpapautang. NO CREDITS PLEASE!

Pumunta nalang kayo sa may pa LENDING dyan.

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I dare me!

“You have to earn it.”

I don’t know if this sounds silly but I find it hard to spend the money I’m earning. I feel guilty on spending it too much for things that I want— those I don’t essentially need for survival.

Last week, I couldn’t get any reception on my TV (handed over by my aunt). The DVD player just wont work too.  I’m living alone in the room with no other source of entertainment but the TV. I wanted to buy a new one. It is a big deal for me. I debated over myself.

Would it be a wise decision? Is it worth it? Do I really need it? What if I don’t buy it? Can I thrive without it?

To save myself from thinking too much, I tossed a coin. Ever familiar with the lines: “Toss a coin if you are in doubt. You’ll know what’s in your heart while the coin is in the air.”

It failed me. I still don’t have a firm decision. So I continued tossing coins and decided to make it a match.

Heads=I’m buying it. Tails=Not buying it. So to extend the thrill, first to make 10 points wins.

After 10 tosses, it was still a tie. 5-5. Even the coin was confused. The next three tosses were consecutive heads. 8-5 in favor of buying it! The next toss was a tail. 8-6. This must be really nerve-wracking. And another head. 9-6. Only 1 more toss to go for heads to win!

But tails just wont give up that easily. Another tail. 9-7. It feels like I’m in a basketball finals.

Then, the 17th toss closed the game. Heads win! I’m going to buy a DVD player. So off I went, got my money, and walked towards a store.

The store was 2 miles away. I figured I have to walk to allow myself to think it more thoroughly. I still have doubts about the coin toss results. The kind of doubt a politician has when he losses.

I didn’t have any source of passive entertainment now so it may also be to kill the time. Reading a book would tire my eyes and brain. I felt silly because I could have just simply took a 10-minute jeepney ride to get there.

After 40 minutes, I reached Lapu-Lapu city’s church and decided to rest at the park nearby. The store was just around the corner.  That’s where I thought of a dare. A compromise to feed my disturbed conscience.

I will buy the DVD player if I lost 5 pounds.

I decided I better not put a time frame as to when should I achieve that. Just when the goal is reached, I’ll buy it. If not until eternity, then it’s goodbye for a DVD.

By the way, I have about 3 sets of DVD’s on hand waiting. This challenge would be of dual purpose: I will be watching House (the doctor) with a lesser belly.

Tough motivation. 😀

Will I make it? Do I have enough willpower for that DVD player?

Place you bets.

(in the comment section)

 

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I’m silly. I know.