Natatapos din ang ulan

 

Ito ang klase ng ulan

Na lamig at lungkot ang iniiwan

Baha at basura sa daan

Paa’y pinuputikan.

 

Ito ang klase ng ulan

Na hindi mo mapipigilan

Basta na lang bumabagsak

Bumabasa sa unan.

 

Pero ito’y natatapos din

Nakakagaan ng damdamin

Ang tubig na dumadaloy

Lungkot ay inaagos

 

Sapagkat sa bawat ulan

May darating na katapusan

Ang dilim at ulap ay mahahawi

At papalit ang ngiti

 

Babaunin mo ang mga natutunan

Gaano man kasakit ang pinagdaanan

Na sa lamig, may apoy na nag-iinit

Mula sa sarili, sa puso,

Sariling ligaya makakamit.

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The Most Recent Nightmare

Is it really that awkward?

I kept thinking with all the possibilities of it. Me and her. Eating together. Holding hands while walking. Enjoying each other’s company. That day when we cross the boundaries of friendship. Me escaping the friendzone at last!

Day dreaming. That’s what all it is. Until it became nightmare lived.

Last night, I dreamt of that same situation. I was walking with her, hands on the shoulder, to a canteen. We were finding a table but it was all busy we chose to sit with someone. “Share a table, win a friend”, the post on the wall says. Only to find out it was her ex. The one she fell head-over-heels  with. The one who have destroyed her life…almost. Not until she pulled herself out of that pit. She came out wounded and feeling dirty from that dungeon. Even inadequate.

Waking up on a dark rainy morning,  I have begin to realize how uncomfortable it might be. Might not be as much to me, but to her. What are we gonna talk about when we already have talked about almost every topic in our lives? What’s there to discover when you already know the person from head to toe, split ends to in-grown nails? Is lack of mystery in a relationship a problem?

There’s always something to discover. You can never know a person completely. Because even he/she doesn’t know herself well enough.

Would it rather be better to have a relationship with someone you don’t know completely? It would be a big risk.

But it is a bigger risk to endanger the years of friendship we have. Why? Are we thinking of a relationship that would never work? Perhaps yes. We’re two coward fools. What is courage anyway?

At this point, Love is much complicated than solving a rubik’s cube. A song says “Love will keep us alive” yet another shouts “Too much love will kill you”!

Okay, that was all random. haha did I make sense?

When all is done and nothing’s changed. I bet it’s time. To move on.

That’s all for now.

_____________

And this is my recent nightmare I’m hoping I could wake up from.

 

Y not I?

 

Feb 10 (2:30pm)

While waiting for the next shift’s endorsement…

Do you have an older brother?

I was asked straight-forwarded-ly by a female colleague. She is a new acquaintance at work. We are friends. We like to poke fun of each other. She is cool. And a little on the aggressive side as oppose to me.

I summoned a grin, feeling awkward about the sudden pop of silence on my part. I was puzzled.

“None.” I honestly replied. I should’ve stopped there. But my itching tongue wants to know why. And so I did.

Me: why?

Her: How about a younger brother?

Me: None. I only have a sister. I’m the eldest.

Her: …

Me: why?

Her: I was hoping you have a brother I could date this valentines. hahaha

Me: Aw!  -_- *very awkward*

 

I was asking myself: why not I? What is wrong with me anyway?

So, if she wants a brother of mine, does it mean, she wants someone as good looking with the same looks as I am, but a different person.  (?)

Am I friendzoned?

again?!

But that doesn’t hurt that much. I am not interested in her anyway. Really.