Is it really that awkward?
I kept thinking with all the possibilities of it. Me and her. Eating together. Holding hands while walking. Enjoying each other’s company. That day when we cross the boundaries of friendship. Me escaping the friendzone at last!
Day dreaming. That’s what all it is. Until it became nightmare lived.
Last night, I dreamt of that same situation. I was walking with her, hands on the shoulder, to a canteen. We were finding a table but it was all busy we chose to sit with someone. “Share a table, win a friend”, the post on the wall says. Only to find out it was her ex. The one she fell head-over-heels with. The one who have destroyed her life…almost. Not until she pulled herself out of that pit. She came out wounded and feeling dirty from that dungeon.
Waking up on a dark rainy morning, I have begin to realize how uncomfortable it might be. Might not be as much to me, but to her. What are we gonna talk about when we already have talked about almost every topic in our lives? What’s there to discover when you already know the person from head to toe, split ends to in-grown nails? Is lack of mystery in a relationship a problem?
There’s always something to discover. You can never know a person completely. Because even he/she doesn’t know herself well enough.
Would it rather be better to have a relationship with someone you don’t know completely? It would be a big risk.
But it is a bigger risk to endanger the years of friendship we have. Why? Are we thinking of a relationship that would never work? Perhaps yes. We’re two coward fools. What is courage anyway?
At this point, Love is much complicated than solving a rubik’s cube. A song says “Love will keep us alive” yet another shouts “Too much love will kill you”!
Okay, that was all random. haha did I make sense?
When all is done and nothing’s changed. I bet it’s time. To move on.
That’s all for now.
And this is my recent nightmare I’m hoping I could wake up from.