Why do we hurt the ones we love?

And so, in response to Mommy’s question, here are my two cents on the matter.

1. To Test Them

I stumbled upon a quote before. It goes:

We try to push away the ones we love

to see who stays no matter what.

It is a sad reality. I too am guilty for this ‘leave-me-alone’ tactics. I don’t really know what’s with some. Pride maybe? or perhaps from watching too much drama on TV. I guess it is the latter. Just one of their melancholic nights added with paranoia resulting from overthinking secondary to being madly in love. Duhh, I don’t have time for that. You are never in any position to test anyone. unless you are a teacher, or a medical technologist, or a psychologist, or a doctor.

But no. Only situations should test you. And Time. Distance as well.

2. To Teach a Lesson

Just like a child beaten for sinning, or fighting with his siblings, or even more disrespecting his parents. The people who loves us often choose to hurt us in order to teach us a lesson. You need a pinch to wake you up from a bad dream. That’s all. That pinch may vary from a simple pinch in the chin to a slap on the face. Remember, this is because they care.

3.  You are Sadistic

No kidding. other than the two mentioned above, I couldn’t think of any other reason. I only promised two cents right? 😀

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How about you? What do you think? Why do we hurt the ones we love?

Mr. DJ?

Sa dami ng nanghihingi ng advice, pwede na akong magtayo ng programa sa radyo.

Yung totoo? Mukha ba akong DJ? Hindi na man ah.

At past na ang DJ na yan. Tapos na ako sa mga J. 

Palagian (mga kahit twice a month) meron at merong nanghihingi ng payo tungkol sa lovelife nila. Kung ano daw gagawin sa jowa nilang ayaw na silang pansinin, kung ganun ba daw talaga kaming mga lalaki, manhid ba daw kami, immature, magaling magpalusot at lahat lahat na pwedeng ibato. Sa ganitong mga panahon, I play the role of the talk show host. Tanong lang ng tanong. Facilitate ventilation of feelings. 

Ang problema kasi sa iba, nakikinig para makapag-comment agad at magmarunong (dahil in the first place naman, payo ang hiningi, edi ayun ang ibinigay). Pero nakakalimutan nila (ko) na minsan, kailangan lang nila ng may nakikinig. Or in some case, kailangan may nagrereply sa drama nilang mga nagdadrama sa text. It is to offer presence. 

May iba rin naman na nakalimutang nars ako at hindi doktor. Nanghihingi ng reseta. Ano daw gamot sa kati-kati sa singit, ganito-ganyan. Ano gagawin kung delayed ang menstruation, may suggestion ba daw ako paano makabuo ng bata (ako na walang anak? at virgin?), at minsan sa kahit na simpleng gamot sa lagnat at sakit ng ulo na paulit-ulit naman na nasa mga commercial sa tv. Haaay. Yung totoo? Nanlalambing lang eh no? Nagpapa-pansin din? Oo na. I care for you. Sasagutin pa rin kita sa abot ng akong makakaya.

 

Pero minsan one time, ng medyo nainis ako ng konti dahil sa tanong, ayun, BOOM!

< Dale, anong gamot sa pagod?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> PAHINGA. *sigh* with matching serious look.

 

Naman kasi eh! ginusto mo yan eh!

___________________

 

 

May humirit pa! Kalagitnaan ng usapan, biglang:

 

 

< Dale, kelan ka magpapakasal?

 

 

Adik! Eh, single na single ako ngayon! Anong tukso yan?

______________________

 

Ang hirap maging DJ sa totoong buhay. Ang daming callers. Paano pa kaya si God?

 

Footprints on the Floor

 

The landlady is meticulous. It’s part of her habit to always clean everything; that relates to her being a supervisor in room cleaning at a hotel. And she does it in the house.

There are random inspection of rooms: spot checking of how we handle garbage, how we arrange our things, how we do the laundry, etc. We are like armies always alert for inspection, cleaning up everything.

Here comes one time when another boarder from the other room used the CR and the landlady followed next; discovering footprints on the pearly white bathroom floor. The boarder instantly became the culprit. “Res ipsa loquitur.”  (The thing speaks for itself)

He tried to explain it was there when he entered. He was a good boarder and he was living there long before we came.

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The reason why the world is in chaos is not only because of ‘bad’ people doing bad things; it is also by ‘good’ people doing nothing about it.

Sometimes, as  we  claim we are ‘good’, we put a wall to separate us from the tainted ‘bad’ ones. We focus on our ‘goodness’, that by staying near the rotten, we might rot too. We often condemn them for it, pushing them further down, away from goodness. In effect, we somehow let them do worse things not only to others but  to themselves as well.

On the other hand, it also teaches them a lesson. By doing bad, you don’t belong. By doing good, we welcome you. The hard part for the ‘bad ones’ is the time when everyone pushes them away. How could you think clearly and stand up again from the pit you have fallen into when there’s no helping hand to lift you up? Crawling in agony, they may slowly pick themselves up, stonger but with much hostility and indifference to the ones who claim to be teachers of a lesson.

The thing is, we should be more compassionate and empathic, consider their feelings, offer support for change, work with them instead of against them. That’s when there’s a lesson learned. That’s when there’s peace.

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And oh, if you were wondering about the footprints, it wasn’t me!!!

 

 

 

…who got caught. 😉