The Most Recent Nightmare

Is it really that awkward?

I kept thinking with all the possibilities of it. Me and her. Eating together. Holding hands while walking. Enjoying each other’s company. That day when we cross the boundaries of friendship. Me escaping the friendzone at last!

Day dreaming. That’s what all it is. Until it became nightmare lived.

Last night, I dreamt of that same situation. I was walking with her, hands on the shoulder, to a canteen. We were finding a table but it was all busy we chose to sit with someone. “Share a table, win a friend”, the post on the wall says. Only to find out it was her ex. The one she fell head-over-heels  with. The one who have destroyed her life…almost. Not until she pulled herself out of that pit. She came out wounded and feeling dirty from that dungeon. Even inadequate.

Waking up on a dark rainy morning,  I have begin to realize how uncomfortable it might be. Might not be as much to me, but to her. What are we gonna talk about when we already have talked about almost every topic in our lives? What’s there to discover when you already know the person from head to toe, split ends to in-grown nails? Is lack of mystery in a relationship a problem?

There’s always something to discover. You can never know a person completely. Because even he/she doesn’t know herself well enough.

Would it rather be better to have a relationship with someone you don’t know completely? It would be a big risk.

But it is a bigger risk to endanger the years of friendship we have. Why? Are we thinking of a relationship that would never work? Perhaps yes. We’re two coward fools. What is courage anyway?

At this point, Love is much complicated than solving a rubik’s cube. A song says “Love will keep us alive” yet another shouts “Too much love will kill you”!

Okay, that was all random. haha did I make sense?

When all is done and nothing’s changed. I bet it’s time. To move on.

That’s all for now.


And this is my recent nightmare I’m hoping I could wake up from.



A Strange Encounter

I am in an old house made of wood. Big planks of polished Narra wood are used as the floor. The floor is somehow elevated a meter or so from the ground. Pieces of furniture were made of carved wood, one was made into a couch. No foam or upholstery. Just the hard and cold wood.


I am lying on the long chair. Head on the arm rest. No one was around. There were only minimal light coming from a candle on top of the center table. The room was  quiet. You could hear a needle drop.


Then, there were footsteps outside. It sounded calm. And slow. Tik. tak. tik. tak… maybe ascending a staircase. The footsteps stopped. Someone was at the door. The man, as I think because of its shadow casting the glass window, did not bother knocking. He just stood there.


I debated over myself to try to open the door and find out who he is. Eventually, the pro won. I got up and walked towards the door. I removed a plank of wood used as a lock and pulled the door open. What happened next brought me to my senses.


The man was striking an ax at me. I am astounded. I stood in shock. My feet wont work. I felt extreme pain. I am bleeding. The axe was on my left forehead; cutting through (and still there) in my skull.


Tik. tak. tik. tak. The man walked down the stairs calmly. As if nothing to worry about.


I saw faces of my mother and sister crying. My father at their backs trying to be calm. I am dead now. This is the end of me. A tear rolled in my eyes. I wish I could say I love them.


Lights out. Pitch-black darkness. I am drenched in sweat. The ceiling fan wasn’t making its buzzing sound. A brownout. I checked my phone to see what the time was. 3:33 am. I’m still breathing.


Happy Halloween!


I found myself walking in a crowd of people. Everything seems to be solemn, sober. Hushed voices were around. Heads are bowed down. Some are wearing a cloth to cover their faces. No, those were not just a mere fabric, those were the kind where you can still see their faces though. There was that aura. Something I cannot directly pin point.

I slowly inched my way along the aisle. Then I noticed something. Everything was black and white. I wonder if it was just my eyes that’s damaged but no. I see yellow lights. And, are those …candles? There might be a brownout. But there is electricity! I see some light bulbs. A lot of light bulbs, really. Many of them are on the elevated platform in front. There are flowers too. I wonder what are those for.

The next moment I found myself looking down a box. A six feet long two feet wide box made of the finest wood I’ve seen. I know for sure that was no ordinary box. It was painted with cream white paint and varnished to shine. Its corners were intricately curved making it look more elegant and pleasing. And, the cover isn’t just plain. It’s a double door cover, like the ones you see in a refrigerator: one for the freezer and another one for the body. I wonder if it has all those compartments inside. It was a box so precious. But, why is everybody crying while touching this box. What’s wrong with it? It’s perfect! It’s a…

Then it dawned on me. To be sure, I opened the upper cover of the box. The smaller one located just to my left. I slowly peeked my head to look what’s inside. Bingo! My guess was right. A person was inside. A young man actually. He seem to be sleeping comfortable. Thick black eyebrows resting peacefully above his closed eyes. His eyelashes forming a slight curve just in the middle of his purple eyelids. His forehead, though tainted with stress, where exceptionally calmed by the concave curve of his lips. His cheeks though not that smooth with those tiny freckles and pimples were admirable and looked happy.

Beside his head lay some of his precious belongings. An eyeglass with a rectangular frame, a phone, a ring, a rubix cube, and a name plate. Engraved on the plate were a logo of a lady holding a shining lamp trapped in an oblong. Beside the logo, was a name. It sounds very familiar. As if I’ve already knew that name before. I know this name. It’s mine!

I found myself staring into a glass above me, blinded by immense amount of light. I see faces of my sister. Is she crying? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen her cry. I can’t remember when, but I think the last time I saw her cry was when we were still kids. Beside her is my mother. Oh, that face I longed to be with. My mother, sobbing and hugging the box. To her right, is my father who seems to be unusually sad. The strict and stern look in his face is gone. Replaced with the mourn and grief.

Then, darkness. The cover was closed. Screams of agony and crying are muffled. I hear sobs. The box I’m in seemed to be moving. After an hour, it stopped. Then, dead silence. Just nothing. The cries are gone. The box wasn’t even moving an inch. It was peace. But I was not. I hungered for breath. I tried to push the lid and open the cover. It did’nt budge a bit. I tried harder. No, my efforts are useless. I’m trapped here. I screamed for help. I screamed on top of my lungs. AhhhhhhhhH!

Then I heard my phone rang. That very familiar ringtone. An alarm. It’s 5:30 in the morning. I got up. Looked around. Turned the lights on. I got up from bed, drank water and sat beside my bed. My palms on my face, elbows on my thighs, leanind forward. I breathed deeply. What a relief.


Don’t be sad if your dreams don’t come true. Be glad nightmares never did! 😀