A week after that incident, thoughts raised up in my mind. Was I tested by Him?
Is He testing His soldier? Was it a call to action? To test if I am really that ready for the battle?
I guess it was. And it has proven me that I still need to grow.
I don’t have the gift of gab. I stutter when I talk. I seldom make sense. Some people even misinterprets it as being weird or when I decide not to speak at all, they accuse me of being strict or aloof. All that, in addition to the four-eyed serious-type look.
I am me. It is uncomfortable for me to speak to someone I feel not open to what I have to say. There’s always that feel of rejection, of being judged and scrutinized. The thing is, I am also judging them, rejecting them, and scrutinizing them somehow. It sucks.
Somehow it made me realize that maybe I am not fit for the talking part of communication. Maybe my role is to use words, not spoken but written. Maybe I am chiseled for this piece of the puzzle. I hope I am. I believe I will.
I’ll try to stay balanced.