Was it a test? | A walk to ponder

A week after that incident, thoughts raised up in my mind. Was I tested by Him?

Is He testing His soldier? Was it a call to action? To test if I am really that ready for the battle?

I guess it was. And it has proven me that I still need to grow.

I don’t have the gift of gab. I stutter when I talk. I seldom make sense. Some people even misinterprets it as being weird or when I decide not to speak at all, they accuse me of being strict or aloof. All that,Β  in addition to the four-eyed serious-type look.

I am me. It is uncomfortable for me to speak to someone I feel not open to what I have to say. There’s always that feel of rejection, of being judged and scrutinized. The thing is, I am also judging them, rejecting them, and scrutinizing them somehow. It sucks.

Somehow it made me realize that maybe I am not fit for the talking part of communication. Maybe my role is to use words, not spoken but written. Maybe I am chiseled for this piece of the puzzle. I hope I am. I believe I will.

I’ll try to stay balanced.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Was it a test? | A walk to ponder

  1. “when I decide not to speak at all”

    Dale, when YOU decide not to speak at all, I know most of the time you were thinking of something ‘better left unsaid’. We’re somewhat alike, you and I.. Sabaan lng jud q..haha

    I think, you can be anything you want πŸ˜‰

  2. I can sense a bit of anxiety there. It’s good that you are questioning you act. That’s a good start for attaining self-mastery and molding your self to be a better individual. I just suggest that you don’t worry too much. Be whatever you want to be, push your limit and don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. When you decide to do something though, no matter how unconventional it may be, own it, be proud of it because you chose it.
    No matter what you are, no matter what you do, we’re here to spend moments with you even just in writing. πŸ˜‰

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